Name: Paris H.
Occupation: Socialite (if that's a job...), online jewelry designer, amateur porn star
Reason to loathe: Her tweezers probably cost as much as my Jetta.
Famous last words: "Did I accidentally give those naked pics of myself to the media again? Ooopsy doopsy. Me is bad."
Name: Kelly O.
Occupation: Singer (yikes!), Actor (zoikes!), whiny rich kid
Reason to loathe: I never saw another person that reminded me more of a turd with legs. When she speaks, I get very confused and oft wonder aloud, "Why is that turd talking?"
Famous last words: "Plop!"
Name: Kevin F.
Occupation: Celebrity house-husband, "Dancer" (stifle laugh here)
Reason to loathe: Constant abuse of trucker hats, lack of a soul, personality or any sort of charm in the least bit.
Famous last words: "I WAS FAMOUS BEFORE I married Britney! Really!"
Name: Ashlee S.
Occupation: Yells into a microphone while musicians play next to her
Reason to loathe: Constant reinventing of her image, as if we didn't happen to notice that last year she was blonde and on "7th Heaven."
Famous last words: "It was acid reflux, not my no-talent- ass-clown-ness, that made me lip-synch."
(for devin)
Name: Jared F.
Occupation: Subway spokesperson/ annoying man
Reason to loathe: Ask Devin
Famous last words: "I'm still on the diet."
Name: Lindsay L.
Occupation: teen actor
Reason to loathe: I don't really know why I dislike her...guess she seems a lil skanky.
Famous last words: "Why does Laura dislike me? Why? WHYYYYY?"
Name: Melanie G.
Occupation: has-been
Reason to loathe: married Antonio.
Famous last words: "Come doyne me." Other pearls of wisdom can be found here on her wonderous website. Apparently she hasn't had anything to "chit-chat" about since August 2001. Hmph!
Name: Debra M.
Occupation: sitcom star
Reason to loathe: She was rude to my cousin Carl, and that just ain't right, girl.
Famous last words: "Don't you know who I am?!!" Um, someone who has never won a Golden Globe? Yah, ouch, got her.
PUH-LEEEEEEEZZE.
Name: Barry B. Occupation: Showboat/ Member of shriveled weiner club Reason to loathe: speaks like Mike Tyson, acts like a big baby Famous last words: "I don't believe steroids can help your eye-hand coordination." But it can help with those home runs.  |
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Name: Star J.-R.
Occupation: Attorney/ loud-mouth man-eater
Reason to loathe: Making her wedding the corporate-sponsored event of the century,( & see below )
Famous last words: "Thank God that tsunami didn't hit while we were in the Maldives for our honeymoon!" Sheee-ut up!
