Any team can have a bad century, right?

Opening day at Wrigley Field!  It’d be great to be there, but I’d be freezin’ my tookus off.  Instead I’m enjoying the game from the warmth of my living room.  We may go to the game next week, and hopefully it’ll be warmer then.

Some observances so far…

*Bob Brenley is still an idiot.  He called them the Bears.  “ Ooops, still seems like it should be football season.”  Yeah, I’m sure he makes a lot of money to announce BASEBALL games.  Seems like he could at least get the name of the team right.  I miss Stoney…

*Derek Lee still rocks, as does Aram Ram (as I likes to call him)!!

*That red-headed Murton character may turn out to be pretty good.  He may not have the cool batting stance like Moises, but I’ll give him a shot.

*Neifi seems to be less drumstick shaped.  Seems like he has somehow gained some weight in the calf-area.  Or he could just have some long underpants on.

*Not sure how I feel about the bleacher expansion.  We will be sitting in the new bleacher seats in June, and I’ll report on that later.  I definitely don’t care for the batter’s eye lounge out in center.  Great…they ripped out most of the junipers and put in more seats I’ll never sit in.

*I still miss Kyle Farnsworth’s thighs. (He’s with the Yankee’s now?  Figures.)

*Why do our pitchers keep breaking?  And here’s the thing…it’s not even Maddux!  I could understand if he broke down…he’s been pitching FOR 20 YEARS!!!!!!  They sure don’t make ‘em like they used to.

*Tiny E. seems to like baseball…she won’t take a nap when it’s on.  Unfortunately, it’s always on, so she better work it out.  This no-nap thing she’s been workin’ needs to stop.  I’m going cray-zee!!!

All in all, I’m really excited about baseball again.  Let’s see how long it takes for the Cubs to crush my optimistic spirit….

Oh and by the way ( in case you were wondering)... yes the new Physical Therapist is wowed by my superior butt strength. Hmmph.

Yeah! Woo!

It's Friday! This means pretty little to me, being on maternity leave and all. But at least I have Devy-do home for the weekend to help with Tiny E.

Speaking of Little Miss, I took her in to school today to visit my class. I'm surprised she survived, as we were attacked by second graders from the minute we stepped foot in the class. We visited my students from last year, who were even crazier. All agreed she is the cutest baby in all the land. Or at least that's what they said in front of me. But it is true, really. On a somewhat related note, here's my school's website. Please note that it hasn't been updated in 2 years. We sure are blazing through the information age with that webpage, aren't we? I mean, come on. I counted 11 teachers who don't even work at the school anymore, and one that is not even alive anymore.

I've been in a Dekalb state of mind lately, reading everyone's blogs and missing everyone. I would like to comment on Old Dog's blog, except I don't have a Blogger account. I'll just make my comment here:

kroushlconflict said:

I always wondered what that guy's name was. We used to call him Orange Salad. Or was that somebody else???

I know this probably doesn't make sense here unless you've read Old Dog's Blog (and read the comments too). I don't see why I have to be on Blogger to make comments... I have this lovely forum. On this topic, I would like to say that I really hate websites that make you "register" before you can access the content. Lame.

We're going to see the Easter Bunny tomorrow, wish us luck.

hmm...

Ever notice how much I use the "..." in my writing? Annoying, isn't it ?

So I've been going to physical therapy. My legs have been tingly/ achy/ numb since the pregnancy. That didn't seem right, so I went to the doctor. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't suffering from some degenerative disease, which luckily, I'm not. Apparently my back just got off kilter, probably due to all the extra weight I packed on. Hauling around those hotdog toes puts quite a strain on the ole spine.

Some of those excercises are a little hard. This is mostly because I am completely and utterly out of shape. The "Pilates After Pregnancy" DVD doesn't exactly sculpt the body as one would hope. (Just as the "Pilates During Pregnancy" DVD kept the weight off.... Oh, you have to actually do the exercises for them to work? Huh!)

So today I was laughing a little with my therapist lady while I was doing some exercises, and another PT lady from across the room says, "Oh is she tryin' to do that one exercise she can't do at all? Yeah, she's got really weak butt muscles. Ha ha!"

Now mind you, there are at least 3 other clients in the clinic room, most of whom are athletic and muscular. They're probably there to repair the muscles after a sports-related injury. I can just hear the conversation...

ME: "What are you here for?"

MUSCLEDUDE: " Tore my ACL while competing in the Winter Olympics. Want to get it rehabbed so I can run in the Chicago Marathon this year. What is your injury?"

ME: " Who me? Oh, I injured my back by eating too many chocolate malts, therefore my puny butt muscles can't hold up my back. Then a strong gust of wind came along and blew me down."

Yeah.

I just thought it a little rude to #1- Talk and laugh about my weak butt muscles to the other therapists and #2- To yell out that I have weak butt muscles across the clinic for all to hear. I'd like to say that I will practice and practice that exercise all weekend so I can WOW her next week with my super-sized butt muscles. But will I? UMMMMMM....prolly not. But for right now, that's the plan.

Deal.....or no deal??

TV sucks.

So did anyone watch the World Baseball game- USA vs. Japan? In case you didn't, here's an update. Bottom of the eighth, tie game. Japan is up to bat with the bases loaded, 1 out. Pop fly ball to left, & the runner at third tagged and went home. Japan is up by one run, right? Not so fast guys. Team USA protests, saying that the runner didn't tag. The (American) umpires ended up calling the runner out/ no score. We watched the replay repeatedly. He should have scored. Hubby D. was very upset, claiming it's just one more reason for the world to hate America. So what else is new???

I just can't wait until baseball season begins. There's nothing worth watching on TV these days. Have you seen a show called "Date my Mom" on MTV? It's horrifying. I can't seem to figure out if it's real or not. Basically, it's 3 moms dating one young man in the hopes of convincing him to pick her daughter to date. It's obviously scripted, and these people are quite horrible at delivering their lines. Usually at some time during the date, the moms reveal something really embarrassing about their daughters... that they have really smelly farts or something. Watch it once, then feel sorry for the future of this country...

I've been trying to watch American Idol this season. You know, good family entertainment. Don't have to worry about baby learning any bad words (like she does when the Sopranos are on... oops). But everybody really stinks. Guess America is just plumb out of undiscovered talent. Or maybe the really talented people are not lame enough to audition for this crap-bag of a show. Guess I'll vote for the bald guy- he doesn't totally suck. Got a thing for bald guys.

(Notice how I say that all these shows suck, yet I continue to watch them...)

They might as well PUT THIS on TV. Just as crappy as anything else, and probably more entertaining. Maybe the whole world knows about it, has already seen it. I can't help it- I'm a little out of touch here. Nobody ever sends me anything cool, usually just chain emails and such. He's so incredibly lame, but I find myself strangely attracted to him. Must be carry-over from the Knight Rider days...

From the gallery of people with too much time on their hands.....

I should be working out. Or reading a book. Or perhaps brushing my teeth. In case I'm ever complaining about not having any time to do anything, you can refer me back to this.

I've spent the better part of my daughter's afternoon nap using the try-a-hairstyle generator at Ladies Home Journal dot com. At right you see pictured what we would look like with Oprah's hairstyle. Fancy. Guess now we can recommend books to you ( Today's pick: Baby's Touch and Feel Shape Book- it's a real page-turner!)

I've made many, many other creations, using many other celebrity hairstyles. And yes, they are all this attractive. I will share them with you one at a time. You know, to keep you coming back for more. ( or to scare you away forever...)

Somehow Ellie looks cute in all of them, while I just manage to look like a freak. Where did she come from? Whose genes did she get? I don't understand how she can be so perfect when her parents are big shlubs like us. ( sorry D... I mean I'm the only schlub)

Is anyone watching the World Baseball Classic? It's pretty cool. More on this later...

March 6th, 2006

Oscar Madness

Check out my cool recap of the Oscars HERE. Just had a little free time this morning. (Good baby!) In retrospect, I should have used this time to do something else, like shower, or eat. Oh well. Priorities.

Crazy dreams

I don't know if it's the lack of sleep or what, but I've been having the craziest dreams lately. The sweet babe was sleeping through the night to about 5am for a while (heavenly!), then Poof! That was over. It's been back to 2am, 5am, 7am wake ups. Ugh.

Last night I dreamed we went to Santi's restaurant, but for some reason you had to BYO wine. Everyone was staring at us and talking about us because we brought the cheap wine. How embarassing! Oh my! I guess that dream makes some sense, because yesterday I was in Treasure Island (yarrr....) and I almost knocked over the whole wine rack with the diaper bag. I was ready to grab the baby and bolt, but luckily nothing was broken.

Two nights ago I dreamed that I was having a sandwich eating contest with the late Mayor Harold Washington. I won by a hair because I was using the hotdog eating contest technique of soaking the bread with water to make it easier to eat. I don't know if you've ever seen a hotdog eating contest on TV, but that's what the true masters do. Anyhow, I won. Don't know if I should be proud of that or not. Let's see what the ole dream dictionary has to say about that one...

The attempt to find interpretations for "beating dead mayors in sandwich eating competitions" was unsuccessful. This was as close as I got.

"Sandwich
To see a sandwich in your dream, suggests that a lot of pressure and stress is being put on you. It also reflects your ability to do two things at once. However, sometimes a sandwich is just a sandwich. " OK...

"Contest
To dream that you enter or are in a contest, indicates the need to prove yourself as worthy and deserving. If you win the contest, then it represents your self-confidence, pride, and/or conceit.  "

Guess I'm getting pretty conceited about my ability to do two things at once.? (Like breastfeed & check my email? I'm getting pretty good...)

I need a nap.

Alright already

People keep asking why I don't have my baby's pics on my website. I don't know. Her dad was supposed to be working on her webpage. Guess he's not done yet.

In the meantime, I'll put some cute pics in the Freaks & Geeks section. I would like to point out, however, that she is neither a freak nor a geek. Also thanks to Godfather George for the sweet video below.

ho hum

I can totally see the appeal of sweat pants. I understand how easy it is to morph into one of those sweat-pants-wearing-moms. You see, my dear beloved daughter doesn't like to take naps, so it makes getting ready for the day a bit of a challenge.

Especially now that they have these oh-so-pants-like sweatpants. No more elastic at the ankle. And they have a drawstring waist! No elastic there either! They even call them "Yoga pants", as if that makes us believe they are actually used for that purpose.

On an unrelated note ... I was in the grocery store today. Now I'm not that huge of a germophobe, but I find grocery carts pretty gross. (especially ones at the Ghetto Jewel). I'm glad they have those cover thingies for babies to sit in. How many times have you seen a used kleenex just hangin' out in a cart...lots of times for me. Anyhow, I notice people sometimes don't use those plastic produce bags for items like bananas and such, they just put them in the cart. I know you don't eat the outer layer of the banana, but still. I like to have that extra layer of protection. Well today, I saw the most disturbing sight ever. A lady had her broccoli, yes broccoli, just sitting right on the seat of the cart! Where a million baby butts have sat! (possibly with poopy dipes!) I hope she's planning on bleaching that before she eats it. Yuk, ew, blech! Is it just me or is that totally wretched? Am I overreacting here?

Hooray!!!

For the last two months, the view out my front window has been what you see at right---->. The picture hardly does it justice. This bus seems to be spray painted two different colors, florescent pink and orange. The best detail, however, is the picture of what appears to be some sort of prostitute, complete with skimpy skirt, fishnets, & with her butt in the air, that is drawn on the side. I couldn't really capture it in the picture. That would entail leaving the house, and Lord knows I don't do that.

Well this monstrosity has been a part of my living room for two months now. When I open my blinds, there it is. It actually reflects an orange-ish glow onto your face if you stand by the window. I've been checking Google Earth because I'm pretty sure you can see it from space.

Yesterday, Ellie and I were chillin', watching E! Entertainment's coverage of the Red Carpet for the Grammy's (horrifying). All of a sudden we hear a sort of strange rumble, kind of like what you would imagine a spaceship might sound like when it's landing. Lo and behold, the Hookermobile was firing up! There was a man in a long dress coat and suit jumping the engine. He eventually got in and drove off. Devin was prepared to throw himself in the empty spot if by chance the man was just taking it for a spin around the block.

Looks really empty out there. I think I miss it a lil bit.

Maury

So sometimes I watch Maury. So what. It's on when I'm eating my lunch.

He only has 3 real topics on his show. They just rotate between the 3:

1. Paternity tests and/or cheating boyfriends... ("Maury, I'm back for the 6th time to tell you I am 100% sure _(insert name here)___ is my baby daddy")

2. Pre-teens who want babies/ out-of-control teens... ("Ma, I'm gonna have a baby and there ain't nothing nobody can nohow do ta stop me!")

3. Things "Caught on Tape!!!"- car crashes, peeping Tom videos, etc.

Well yesterday was the pre-teens who want babies. Oh goodness. I would like to personally invite these little charmers to spend a night in my house. Ultimately, of course, that's what Maury does. He brings in that crazy boot camp guy and forces these idiots to take care of a baby for 24 hours. Then they end up changing their minds, staying in school, graduating and becoming leaders in their communities. Yeah right.

Question #1- Why do people act so surprised when their loved one tells them that they've been cheating on them? Here's a tip- if your boyfriend tells you he has a secret to tell you on the Maury show, it's not going to be good. If you really didn't know that's what he was going to tell you, you either live under a rock or are as dumb as a rock.

Question #2- Where do they find these people?

Question #3- If I'm not pregnant anymore, how come I'm still wearing maternity pants???

The birth of my daughter
It's not witty, or sarcastic... so if you're expecting that, you may want to skip this entry. It's just something I need to write.

I can't believe it's been a week already. Here's the story... I woke up at 3am on December 2oth with some mild contractions. Not a big deal, because I had been having contractions for a while. They weren't painful and I went back to sleep. When I woke up at 7:30 am, however, I noticed that they were coming in 10 minute intervals. I still wasn't convinced I was in labor, because they weren't very strong. I'd always been told that I "would know" I was in real labor because the contractions would be much different. These weren't, so I went about my day.

At about 11am, I called the nurse. I was scheduled for a flu shot, and wanted to make sure it was still okay to go get it. When the nurse found out my contractions had been regular for about 8 hours, she told me I was indeed in labor. I should relax, take a shower, and call back when the contractions were 5 minutes apart. I called Devin and he came right home from work.

This middle part is pretty uneventful. We sat around all day, waiting. In retrospect, I wish we would have slept while we had the chance. Oh well, I hear I might get some sleep when the baby grows up! I did end up getting my flu shot. The lady at Dominick's said I looked like I was ready to have my baby really soon. I told her that I hoped so because I was in labor. She looked concerned & confused.

When we got home, we watched some TV, Arrested Development & Ali G. (Booyakasha). We ate some chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes. Then I noticed the contractions getting a little more intense. They were right, when you're having the real contractions, you'll know. I had been told that they were just like "really bad menstrual cramps." I would like to clarify that by saying it's more like having "really bad menstrual cramps while someone is jumping on your stomach with stilleto heels." Yeah, I didn't deal really well with the pain at first. Instead of using the "deep breathing" technique , I relied more on the "yelling curse words & crying technique". Luckily I realized that does no good and started on my breathing.

My contractions had gotten painful, but they still weren't any closer together. Now it's 1 am the following day (Tuesday) and I'm in serious pain. I decided to call the doctor anyhow, to see if I could come in. By the time Devin had gotten off the phone, I went from every 10 minutes to every 2 minutes... and boy did we panic. We started running around throwing things in the suitcase. I guess there's no way to actually really prepare for the moment it happens.

Things moved along pretty quickly once we arrived at the hospital. Well, quickly as far as labor goes. I was at 5 cm by 3:30 am, 8 cm by 6 am. I received an epidural (glorious!) and was able to relax for about 2 hours. We had a scare when her heart rate dropped and 7 nurses and doctors came rushing in. They flipped me on my back, side, all fours. Finally it climbed back up, but I was only to lay on one side. This caused the epidural to not work completely. I went through the final stages of labor in some intense pain, but was so anxious to meet my baby that I hardly minded. I say that now, but I may have minded at the time. It's funny that I remember being in pain, but it doesn't really bother me.

Thankfully my mom and sister arrived. Nobody can really make you feel as comforted as your mother, no matter how old you are. The pushing stage only took 30-40 minutes. We were listening to Christmas music, and the Chipmunk Song came on. We started talking about the names of the Chipmunks, then all of a sudden the doctor said, "Look Down!" Okay, there was a head there. I'm not sure if anything you read, or see on television can ever really prepare you for seeing a head emerging from your own body. It really is the most awesome feeling in the universe. Just a couple of moments later, Dr. Lin was holding a baby up and saying, "It's a girl!" I couldn't believe it. She gave one quick cry, opened her eyes and started looking around. After a quick clean-up, they rested her in my arms. It was hard to believe that the baby in my arms was the same child I had been growing inside of me for 10 months. I couldn't (still can't!) believe that we had made something so perfect and beautiful. In that moment, I felt myself change. She will forever be the most important person in my life. From the first minutes we met, I could never imagine my life without her.

I expected those feelings. What I didn't expect is to feel so much more in love with my husband. The second I gave birth I felt closer to him than I have ever felt. I just can't stop hugging him. I just have to get used to the fact that when he says, "Hi beautiful," he's not always talking to me! Oh well, such is life. How can I hardly compete with the most gorgeous creature on the planet???

Sweet relief...

Soooooo....Today is the big day! My due date! Actually, only something like 5% of babies are actually born on their due date. Well it doesn't mean I can't hope, does it? I was so convinced that I was going to deliver early that it already seems like the baby is late. So much for motherly intuition. Um, maybe that will that kick in later? Sure it will.

I'm trying to look on the bright side of things here. I can still eat whatever I want (and I do). I've got a nice pair of fleece pants that are really comfortable that I've been wearing everyday, so that's a plus. I swear I will never, ever make fun of the pregnant woman in the overalls ever again. I wish I had some overalls right now, because I'm really sick of the updraft caused by my shirts and pants all being too small. Let's just say I understand the overalls concept. Fleece overalls, now that would be something... or maybe just a fleece jumpsuit .( Yes, I am stuck on the fleece, I told you these pants are sweet).

Anyhow, I'm just loafin' around the house, waiting to meet our lil baby. The anticipation is just about killing me! Hopefully it won't be much longer. We're going for Indian food tonight to see if we can't, "smoke the baby out of it's hole" as my husband so lovingly put it. Any other labor induction strategies would be greatly appreciated. Call me. I'm here. Alone. Anxious. Bored. Please.

If you don't hear from me soon, take that as a good sign! Otherwise, I'll be writing again tomorrow....

Holy cripes

I guess it's been a while since I've updated the ole website. But good news! I've finally located a picture of Bonar Bain ------------->

I've had a billion things to talk about, and now, of course, I can't think of anything. My mind is completely baby focused, since I am due in 3 days! Can you believe it? God, it seems like I've been pregnant for years.

One big topic that's been going through my mind has been the new smoking ban in Chicago. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. Being pregnant and not smoking has made me appreciate just how disgusting secondhand smoke can be. But at the same time, I do enjoy a cigarette every now and again. I guess I don't see what's wrong with the smoking vs. non-smoking sections. I know a lot of the time they are very close together, sometimes separated by a few feet. That's stupid. I just can't imagine not having smoking in bars. Can you?

What else is going on? Baby baby baby. Sorry, that's all I can think about today. Please forgive me. I will try to write more later.....

Conrad Bain

So I was thinkin' about Conrad Bain, as I am wont to do. How do you think he feels about his television children's demise and/or ruination? I mean, Dana Plato basically destroyed herself with drugs and skankiness ( I know, I saw the TV movie) , Todd Bridges has served time in the big house (drugs & crime) , and Lil Arnold is just plain Crazy.

Do you think he feels partially responsible? He was, after all, their TV father for 8 years. Seems like he could have steered them to the path of righteousness.. ya know... encouraged them to keep their grades up and stuff. I wonder if that ever haunts his nights, as he lie awake in his bed...

(***sidenote*** Did you know that Conrad Bain has an identical twin named Bonar Bain? Attempts to locate a picture of Conrad and Bonar together were unsuccessful. If anyone can find one, I will pay dearly for it, as it would look lovely in a golden frame above my couch)

Sorry I haven't written in a while. I have been a busy beaver, you know, with work and laying on the couch eating ice cream and all. I'm not sure if you realize how much of a pregnant woman's time needs to be devoted to the couch. Trust me, it's a lot. When I get some more steam, I'll update the celebrity page. And the pics. Cut me some slack. I know there's only 2 or so people reading this anyhow. Geez.

blah

Stupid Cubs. Stupid Back-to-school. Stupid hurricane.

Ice cream is still good though.

Motorin'!

Soooooo we headed out to DeKalb for Cornfest again. What a treat. I had a great time catching up with our friends and watching everybody drink beer. The beer garden is a strange place for a pregnant lady, let me tell you, especially in DeKalb. You can't help but wonder where these people come from. It's like they stepped out of a time capsule from 1985, complete with the acid wash, mullets, big hair, zoobas...you name it, someone had it on.

Devin mentioned that they all may not be from DeKalb, but surrounding areas, and that the Night Ranger concert had drawn them in. Perhaps. The show started off as kind of a train wreck....and ended up as kind of a train wreck also. I think Josh said it best- " I went in with really low expectations, and was still disappointed." Yup. There was actually many points in the show which I wondered what the hell was going on. They kept playing 1 minute of a cover, then stopping. How dare they tease this crowd with "Sweet Home Alabama", then not play it through! They also played some sort of half-assed "Na na na" medley that was quite disturbing. And he forgot the words to "Once Bitten Twice Shy!"

Luckily, they brought the house down with a powerful, moving rendition of "Sister Christian." Thank you, Night Ranger, for giving the world that song.

Where have I been?

Gosh, who knows. Let's just say I've been busy. Or lazy, one of the two. You can guess which one is more likely. Some things that have been occupying my time:

1. The Cubs- Yes, even though we vowed it wouldn't happen again this year, it has. Surprise, surprise. We seem to have to watch every single game. We must be masochists or something. Why, why, why can't we be in 1st place? I mean, we've beat all the "good" teams- Cards, both varieties of Sox, etc. Apparently we can do it, so what's the problem? Any ideas, because I don't get it. The theory that the team is cursed doesn't seem so crazy after all...

2. Picking out baby strollers. My mom said that when we were little there was about 3 different strollers to pick from.Now that sounds reasonable. Not sure if you are aware of this, but there are 4,000 different models of stroller on the market today. Umbrella, mid-size, full-size, jogging, travel systems. I mean, really. The one my Dear husband has settled on would cost a cool $879. Oh is that all?? Well then, let's buy 2! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKIN' MIND? (No, we aren't getting that one.) We've actually agreed on one; I'm not going to name the brand because I don't want anyone to tell me anything negative about that brand. I don't care, I'm buying it anyways because I am not going back to look at more strollers!

3. New hobby. Some people would call it "scrapbooking". I would not, because that makes me sound like a suburban mom. Like with sweat pants and scrunchies!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Let's just call it "creative photo arranging". It's all Cari's fault- I succumbed to peer pressure after viewing her oh-so-stylish vacation album (notice I didn't call it a scrapbook! Very important!).

That's about it. Oh, I was going to talk about nuns driving in cars. For some reason I just find that really cute. Especially when they break the rules of the road. I was about to get mad at a car that cut me off today, then I saw there were 4 nuns in it, and I just chuckled. Don't know why. Nuns in a car = funny.

Later.

Public Service Announcement

Here's a little tidbit of information for ya: Pregnant women know they're getting fat. It happens for a reason. First of all, there's a baby in there. Second of all, you need to eat a little more to provide "adequate nutrition" for the baby. Maybe that "adequate nutrition" could be found in a salad, but it can also be found by eating many ice cream sandwiches or an entire jar of green olives. Who knows. I am not going to deny my child if he or she wants the whole bag of Gummi Lifesavers or a whole pack of imitation crabmeat. It's for the baby, of course.

Anyhow, I'm quite enjoying my new figure, and I don't really feel bad about it at all. I have observed, however, some very irritating behavior from other people. Let me give some examples of what a person should and shouldn't say to a pregnant woman, based on my observations so far.

Good:

"The baby is getting big!"
"You're getting big" / "You've popped out" etc. (I don't even mind this.)
" You look great/ beautiful/ glowing" etc, etc, etc.

Bad:

"You sure is gettin' fat!" (from a student, before he knew I was pregnant)
"What have YOU been eatin'?" (also from a student)
"I could tell you were pregnant because your face is getting so fat." (from an adult)
"You're really starting to spread out from behind." (Oh thanks)
"Do your legs hurt?" (no, why?) "Because they're all puffed out and swollen!"
" Are you sure you're not having twins?"
"What do you mean you're only 20 weeks? You look like I looked at 8 months!"

Just thought I'd pass along a little sensitivity training, in case anyone needed it. There's a lot of hormones bouncing around, and it's not that hard to make a pregnant woman cry. (which is why I can't watch that damn Puppy Chow commercial.) Don't say I didn't warn you...

hands-free & brain-free

So the ever-so-wise Chicago aldermen (and alderwomen) have decided it is illegal to hold the ole cell phone while driving. OK good, that jives with my philosophy. But now we have a whole new set of annoyances, at least that's how I see it.

First of all, there's a hell of a lot of people that just hold the phone and talk anyways, just like they did before. And I must say, I've yet to see anyone be pulled over for it. Hey, maybe it happens. Just seems to me in the city of Chicago, the cops got a lot bigger fish to fry than to pull people over for a $50 ticket. I've taken to just pointing at these lawbreakers and yelling, "Criminal!" Just trying to do my part.

The second problem has to do with these "hands-free" devices. OK, so some people are actually following the law. Congratulations, now you look like a total dimwit. Most people have taken the hands-free concept to a new level. Now there are people walking everywhere with these ear-bud-danglers, talking to God knows who, about God knows what. Now, I can see if you had an important call you needed to take while you were in the Jewel. But these people are not on important calls! I know this ! WHY do you know this, you ask? Because I am forced to listen to their lame-ass conversations about nail salons, baby daddies, bathing suits, golf clubs and whatever else these pinheads are talking about as they are standing next to me picking out orange juice. Oh yeah, and they're always running their carts into me.

I have one question for you people, and then I will drop the whole cell phone thing: If people can't operate a grocery cart properly while talking on the "hands-free" cell phone, how are they able to drive a car???????

pregnancy & whatnot

Today's ponderings:

I just figured out yesterday that sitcom stands for "situation comedy". Feelin' real smart!

Here are some good things I've been eating and really enjoying lately. Thought I'd pass them on to you, in case you were hungry:

• Gummi Lifesavers
• red grapes
• cucumbers
• pineapple
• cheese subs
• sour cream
• Honey-nut Cheerios
• Golden Grahams
• Ice cream sammiches
• Auntie Annie's pretzel (original flavor)
• salt (on everything)
• hard-boiled eggs
• jalepenos
• Frostys
• zebra cone soft serve ice cream from Burger Baron "Home of the Burger"
• jelly bellies

Here are some foods that have been making me gag lately:

• chicken (especially the non-fried variety)
• spaghetti sauce/ pasta
• chinese food- ALL KINDS
• deviled eggs (which is weird, since I like hard-boiled eggs...)

Ah pregnancy. I've apparently moving out of the morning/ all day sickness phase and into the exploding butt/sore legs/swollen feet/ nosebleed phase, which is exciting. At least it's a change. I've even been able to cook again which is great. Gained 7 lbs so far.

Time to make dinner. Tacos. Yum.

Galena

So we just got back from beautiful Galena, Illinois. Spent a few days kicking around the town. It's a pretty interesting place. Did you know that President Grant once lived in Galena? Yes, it's true, I learned that on the trolley tour.

It's actually a pretty beautiful place. There's a lot of rolling hills and picturesque landscape and such. I would say generally it's for old people though. We were about the youngest people in the town by about 20-25 years. And everyone there is white- I'm not kidding. It's very odd. The whole time we were there we only saw 3 people who weren't caucasian. Strange...

On the down side, the food isn't really that good. We came to the conclusion that we're pretty spoiled having good food all around us here in Chicago, and that most people don't have that luxury. We did eat at a really cool steakhouse called The Log Cabin ("Galena's Oldest Steakhouse- Where steak is king and lobster is queen"). It's so dark in this place that you can barely see, and there's lots of pictures of John Wayne on the walls. They use those plates that are metal with the wood underneath like they used to do at Ponderosa. Plus, it's also the home of Mark "Flying Fingers" Rockwell, and who can beat that? Again, there's mostly old people here (the guy at the next table ordered a peppermint schnapps on the rocks for cripes sake), but in general, this is the best restaurant.

On the plus side, Galena has about 3 candy shops and at least 3 ice cream parlors. This made me very happy. Ming ate Devin's candy because we left it on the coffee table. Oops.

Happy.

I just got back from Target. It was a very happy experience. Why? Because I saw Corey freakin' Patterson there! Yes! He was right next to me, buying underpants. (In case you were wondering, he wears boxer briefs.) Anyhow, I was there buying Devin some white tees, and there he was standing next to me. Actually, it was his girlfriend that was really picking out the underwear. He just said, "It's only underwear" every time she picked up a new pack. Huh! Who would have thought that even famous ballplayers buy their underwear in packs of 3. Yes I did follow him around the store to see what else he was buying. No I don't consider that stalking.

Does this top Jim & Cari's sighting of Mark Prior at Chipotle? Hmm, comes very close.

Since we're talking about baseball, can I just mention how much I am loving the fact that we beat the Sox in the series this weekend? But wait! Aren't the Sox the MOST WINNINGEST team in all the land? Isn't John Garland, like, God's second son or something? Wait, then! How could we have possibly beaten them? Oh my, looks like they're not better than us after all! How shocking! Certain members of Devin's family will be feeling pretty salty after losing that bet. You know who you are. And we'll be ready to collect the moolah next weekend. Don't make us send someone over by 'dere to bust you'se guys up.

Happy!

Oh yeah!

You know what is the best snack in the whole wide world?

Black cherry Kool Aid and Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips. Oh my holy cripes, it's the best thing I've ever eaten.

Just wanted to pass that along to you. Go ahead and try it.

Oh, and grapes are good too. Only the red ones though.

AHHHHH

Relaxation! What could be better? Yes, school is out, thanks for asking. And I do not miss it one bit. I have the next 2 weeks off to nap, eat and shop. Those are my priorities, in that order.

Just got back from beautiful Marengo, IL. It was my sister-in-law Rachael's wedding. Medieval wedding that is. I have to admit I was a little skeptical as to how she would pull off an outside medieval wedding, but it was fab-u-lous! The ceremony was absolutely beautiful, the weather was gorgeous, and everybody had a great time. It was nice to see all the friends & family together in one spot. I did so much talking that my throat hurt the next day. I will put the pictures under the Freaks & Geeks section as soon as I size them all down.

Oh! I was downtown eating lunch with Devin today, and we saw the filming of Stranger Than Fiction. We got to see Will Ferrell lots of times. He sure looks thinner than I imagined. Devin also saw Dustin Hoffman earlier, but I didn't. He's no Brad Pitt, but I guess he'll have to do. Probably best that way, anyhow. If I ran into Brad Pitt, I would probably do something embarrassing, like cry or squeal, or throw up.

random thoughts

I really need to write more, because there's so much valuable, insightful information floating around my head. Too bad I can't drag myself off the couch to come and write about it. Let's see if I can sort it all out:

Thought #1- Now I'm about to make a broad, sweeping generalization here. One may even call it a stereotype. So if you're one of those people who get offended, better tune out RIGHT NOW. GO, I MEAN IT! I've been thinking about this for some time now, weighing the evidence, pro and con. I've examined the facts, done the research. The results are in: People that drive teal colored cars are jackasses. Yes, you heard me right. Now, I'm not talking about the teal from the 50's that you occasionally see on an old Chevy or whatnot. I'm talking about this crap ---------> right here. Click on the picture and read all about how this chic has wanted a Miata for years; I'm not kidding- it's an actual timeline of her saga to acquire this car that actually dates back to 1994. This is what I'm talking about. Teal drivers. I couldn't deny the facts any longer after a teal driver was driving in the lane next to me this morning on the expressway applying eyeshadow. I almost couldn't believe it, until I noticed she was driving a teal Dodge Neon. Ummhmmm. Yep.

Thought #2- Again I have to wonder what is wrong with people. What is with those people that camped out throughout the Michael Jackson trial. I understand being a fan of someone, but that's just insane. Especially if you really don't know for sure if he did it or not. I won't even get into that because I don't know if he did it either! Why, because I wasn't there, imagine that! I'm so sick of that insanity I don't even feel like talking about Michael Jackson. Forever.

Thought #3- What's up Cubs? I was so happy on Saturday, when you beat those stupid Red Sox and their stupid fans were crying in their beers. Boo hoo! But now we seem to be getting our butts handed to us again. What's really annoying is when they are down 8-1, my lovable husband still will not turn the channel. Each and every one of the games, no matter how bad we are screwing up, we still have to watch. Now, I like baseball just as much as the rest, but do you know how many games there are in a season? Like 40,000. That's a little too much to watch each and every one.

Ugh. Better save some thoughts for next time.

Ah nuts.

Now I can't eat hotdogs anymore. Why? Because they are evil. I typed "evil hotdog" into Google, and this was the best image I got -------->, plus a few of Donald Rumsfeld, which is pretty awesome.

Apparently, hot dogs cause cancer. Which is pretty scary considering the amount of hotdogs consumed by your average child nowadays. You can read all about it here.

Not that I'm a huge weiner eater, but come on. One does enjoy a nice char-dog now and again, especially at a lil' place called Wrigley Field! But now it's ruined, RUINED for me!

Sometimes I wonder if we are better off not knowing things. Everything is out to get us- hair dye, nail polish, microwaves, air and now hotdogs. "Are your sponges killing you???!!!!" as Devin likes to say.

Phooey.

I annoy myself

So I have developed this annoying nose whistle. In the past, I have noticed it from time to time, usually after I have a bad cold. Now it happens ALL THE TIME. I don't know what is going on. It's rather embarassing. It's so loud, allegedly, that you can hear it when I am talking on the phone to someone. I don't know what to do about it. It makes me feel like somebody's Grandpa. What's next, Depends? Smelling like mothballs? It's disturbing. Plus Devin makes fun of me all the time.

I'm already perturbed because our Iowa Test scores came back today. I was wondering, along with my fellow 3rd grade teachers, what my purpose is in this place we call a "school". Why am I even here? Because those small people that have the nerve to call themselves "students" apparently HAVEN'T BEEN LISTENING TO A DAMN THING I HAVE TAUGHT THEM THIS YEAR. The scores were bad, reeeeeeeeeeally bad. And here I thought this year was my best year ever. So disturbing. I was talking to a retired, veteran teacher last weekend. I was saying how I was looking forward to teaching summer school. She said,'Oh, so you can help the students get ahead?" and I said, "No, so I can make their summer miserable." Duh. Grasshopper and the ant, my friend. You wanna cut up for 35 weeks, Ok. That's cool. BUT YOUR SUMMER BELONGS TO ME, WHA HA HA! Mess with the bull, ya get the horns.

Oh you're sorry now? You'll do better next time? Um, yeah, you're too late. You are mine for 6 weeks. Mine!!!

Gosh, I can't wait!

ouch

Did you watch "Britney & Kevin- Chaotic"? I did. Yes, thank you for your condolences. I thought I knew how bad it was going to be. Oh no. I was unprepared for the steaming pile of poop that it really was.

Now, I'm somewhat hooked on bad TV. I'm not some sort of TV snob. Give me the Bachelor, the OC, the Newlyweds- Yes! I love it! But this show...words can't really describe how terrible. Let's just put it this way- I turned it off. Me, of all people.

Why was it so bad, Laura?
Well, I'm not sure if you're seafaring folk (I'm not really). Apparently Britney never mastered the skill of holding the video camera steady; it made me really seasick. Later, I heard she was bragging about how great her sex life is. Luckily I had turned it off, or this would probably have made me seasick also.

Really disappointed Federlines! I was really counting on you two to deliver some mind-numbingly bad trashy TV. Tsk, tsk!

Am I the only one

who's completely excited about Britney Spears' new reality show? I can only hope that it's as bad as it should be. I have seen that husband of hers in interviews before and he has the kind of slimy personality that just gives you the creeps. Eeeek! Just gave myself the chill bumps thinkin' about him.

Only 6 more days! Check out the website here. "Can you handle our truth?" I love it! What a pair of hillbillies. I hope they show a lot of Britney with her hair up in that scrunchie on top of her head eating cheetos and walking around barefoot. It's just the icing on the cake that the show is on the UPN network. Suits them well!

Yes, I don't have much going on in my life...how can you tell?

:(

That's the first time I've ever made one of those frown/smile faces with the colon and parentheses. Don't you think it would be much more effective if it was turned the right way? I mean, who ever writes frown faces sideways?

Anyways, I have been a bit under the weather lately (yes again) and have not had the energy to update the ole website. Sue me. I promise I'll be better about it.

Don't really have too much to talk about anyhow. Pretty borrrrrring. My students just finished the Iowa Test this week. Now it's just time to cross my fingers and hope the annoying ones pass. Not likely.

Wish my Dad a Happy Birthday. He's fishing, so he's living it up.

Our wacky cat .

Is it me, or is our cat a little off? Do most cats lay around on their back like this and just chill out? No? I didn't think so.

He has taken on this strange personality when the 2 of us are just home by ourselves. He breaks all the rules we have taught him. He tries to scratch the furniture! He jumps up on the downstairs couch (which is not for kitty use)! It's like he knows I will let him get away with it! Which I won't of course.

He also follows me around the house, kind of like a stalker. Wherever I am, I'll look out of the corner of my eye and see him staring at me from around the corner. Creepy. Like he's planning my demise.

Maybe I'm just a little paranoid, but he doesn't act like this when Devin's home. I always thought that I would be the disciplinarian when it came to our children, but perhaps I'm really the softy. I guess that's what the cat thinks. I don't think my students would agree with him.

Oh yeah, and Happy Arbor Day. Hug a tree, ya hippie.

Ah crud .

Allright. What the heck happened? He was just running then all of a sudden he looks like this ------->

I mean, this isn't worse than the sneezing injury, but it's pretty stupid nonetheless. It's not like he was sliding! How do you tear a groin running to first?

Oh Nomar, why are you so fragile? You're like a little China Doll; you should be sitting on a shelf somewhere, not playing baseball!

See, it's happening again! They're dropping like flies. Curses! Whatever will we do?

Listen up .

Ok, so we bought a new car. It's a Volvo V50 and it's totally rad. Anyhow, some people might say it's a Volvo Stationwagon. I would tend to disagree with them. It's not really that long; it's more of a hatchback really.

So no yuppie jokes.

Let's go over this one more time, in case you forgot. Just because I am married to a consultant, live in a condo, drive a Jetta and a Volvo (wagon-like vehicle) doesn't mean I'm a yuppie.

We needed that space to move cool things! Like band equipment! Now would a yuppie be moving band equipment? I think not.

Hey idiots.

Just hang up the dang phone and drive. We all were somehow able to cope without cell phones, oh, let's say, 5 years ago.

Please, please, please, please, please don't try to talk while driving. You might think you can do both, but you can't.

Think about it, is your life, or somebody else's , really worth risking over one lousy phone call?

No. I'll get off my soapbox now.

Hmmm...

Not sure what to think about this one. Pictured at right is my anniversary present from my husband. Yes, right here ---------------------------------->
No, you're not mistaken. That's 6 jars of Curry King sauce.

Apparently the third anniversary is the Curry anniversary? Well if there was any question as to whether or not the romance is gone, I think this pretty much answers that. What's next, a vacuum cleaner?

I'm just joking. Actually I think this is a pretty romantic present if you ask me. He knows that Curry King is my absolute favorite, and they don't sell it anywhere in the greater Chicagoland area anymore. I have tried the imitators, and they just do not compare!

Anyhow, he tracked the Curry King down on the internet and brought him to me. So sweet. What a lucky girl I am! (I'm not being sarcastic here either). Who could ask for a better husband? Not me! Actually, this is even better than diamonds, because it's the thoughtful, romantic gesture that counts.

Ok, so maybe it's not better than diamonds, but equal to diamonds. Hmmm, maybe not equal, but close. Sort of. I mean, diamonds are really sparkly and all. And I don't want to make it seem like I don't like diamonds. No, no, no. What I mean is, I like diamonds and Curry King.

Guess what's for dinner this week!

Luv

Happy Anniversary Poops!

Can't wait to see you when you return from your tour of duty in Iraq! (Well, it sounds much more dramatic than saying, "When you return from your IT consulting work in Hartford, Connecticut).

I would have put a more flattering picture of us up...IF ONE EXISTED. Yep, this is the cream of the crop.

Ah, three years of wedded bliss. Seems like so much longer....but in a good way... mostly.

I love you.

Support our troops and consultants.

Shazbot

That reminds me, did anyone see the "Unauthorized" Tv movie about "Mork and Mindy?" It was quite a gripping melodrama.

I heard on TV that "fans" are lining up outside of Grauman's Chinese Theater to see the next installment of the Star Wars saga. Now this movie isn't starting for another 39 days or something like that. One just has to wonder what these people do that they can wait around for 39 days. I mean, even the logistics of it boggle the mind. (When do they go poop?) Let alone hold down jobs.

Same thing with the reality TV "stars". I don't know that my job would allow me to take off 6 weeks to fall in love with a man on national television. Could one take a leave of absence for that ( "Check one reason for your leave: #1 Medical leave #2 Sabbatical leave #3 Wear bikinis and slop around in a hot tub on TV leave) Hmmm, maybe.

But back to the Star Wars. Far be it from me to make fun of these folks. I'll leave that to Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. I guess it's good to have a hobby. I'm actually gonna leave this one without making snotty comments. I think I'm turning over a new leaf. Or maybe I'm just tired.

You know what...

is kind of gross, but also kind of good? Corned beef hash. Sick, right? Had some for breakfast Saturday and it really hit the spot. Try it. Yeah, with an egg --->

You know what else is gross, but also kind of good? The fact that you can find a picture of corned beef hash on the internet. I mean, why would you post a picture...oops, guess I just did too.

Don't forget to wish Emil a Happy Birthday today. He's a nice guy.

Baseball, baseball, baseball !

Baseball, baseball, baseball! (this should be sung to the Conga line melody) Baseball, baseball, baseball! ( I hope you're singing to the right tune!) Ok, if not...

Cubs, Woo! Baseball, Woo! Zambrano, Woo! Curse words, woo!(No Stoney, boo) Hollandaise, Woo! Aramis, Woo! No Sammy, Woo! No Sammy, Woo! (No Moises, boo) Nomar, Woo! Base hits, Woo! Base hits, Woo! (No Kyle, boo). Mark Grace, Woo! Mark Grace, Woo!

Hey, wait a doggone minute! Why the heck couldn't Mark Grace be our new announcer? So what that he ended his career with the Arizona Diamondrings. He's still more of a Cub! Come on now! Use your brains people! Do I have to do all your thinking for you? Geez, guess I should be running things over there.

And while I'm at it, I'm going to make a few changes. First of all, the following people are banned from MLB:
1. Chipper Jones
2. Barry Bonds
3. Roy Oswalt
4. Pujols
5. Alex Rodriguez

Also, Derek Jeter is banned from doing all Mastercard commericals, as is Steinbrenner. Matt Stairs is to be the Baseball Commissioner. The only player allowed to bat funny is Moises. Craig Counsell, that means you're out too. Another rule I'd like to make is that the Yankees don't get to have any more new players. Ever. They just have to use the ones they have. And when they get too old and decrepit, oh well. Too bad, so sad Yankees.

Now that would be the job for me! I'm so excited about baseball!

It's good to be loved

So I forgot to update you on my hair situation. I didn't mean to keep you on the edge of your seat for so long! How shameful of me!

Well I did get my hair cut (all of them, wah wah). It's still long for sure, just a lil layered, and it looks nice (thanks Rachael). When I walked into the hall to let my class in Monday morning, there was an audible gasp. You would have thought that I had shaved my head or something.

Honestly, the students were moaning, "Why? Why did you have to do it? WHHHHYYYYYYYYY? You used to look so beautiful!!!!!!!"

Gee thanks. I love when they point out little things they notice about me. "Teacher, did you know you have a pimple on your face?" Um yes I did. Thanks for noticing. And announcing it.

Later that day I intercepted a note. Apparently there was some sort of petition ciculating the room: "Sign here if you liked the teacher better before." I'm not sure who you would send such a petition to- the hairstylist perhaps?

If I had known my beauty rested in those 2 inches of split ends I would have thought twice about it. Now what will I ever do? Do you think Devin will want a divorce? I mean, who would blame him. My hair is a whole 2 inches shorter. Shame on me.

Silly.

Ahhhh...

It's so darned nice out. The sun is shining, and it's not butt-clenchingly cold. I'm feeling like a million bucks, not sick at all. Must mean one thing...spring break is over and it's back to work. Yeah.

Only 12 more weeks until summer!

So I spent my whole vacation #1- being sick #2- going to the darn doctors (4 times). Pretty borrrrrring stuff. On the positive side of things, the "brain trust" of idiot doctors that I am seeing may have finally figured out what my problem is. Oh hooray... after 18 months and 5 doctors (is that all?).

Since not all of you are up on the latest endocrinological jargon like I am, I'll explain it like this: See picture ---> Imagine the crazy godzilla monsters are my immune system. Now pretend the Leaning Tower of Pisa is my thyroid gland. The tower is very important to Italy (Italy would be me...please stay with the metaphor here) and would like it very much if the monsters would stop attacking it because it preforms very important functions. The planes seen in the background I guess would be the medication that combats the evil monsters. Hopefully they will save the day...we will have to wait and see another 2 weeks. I don't know who the heck the old lady is.....maybe my liver. So now it's all crystal clear, isn't it?

On the lighter side, Devin did have to give me a shot in my stomach, which was cool. He was acting all tough and scientific like he is wont to do ("OOh, I'm in Mensa, of course I can give a shot, la de dah" Ok, he didn't really say that, but it was implied) while the nurse was explaining it. Then of course he wanted to chicken out.Bawk, bawk, bawk! I should have taken a picture...it was very Trainspotting. Next time.

I'm just goin' with the flow over here. Breathe in, breathe out. Relax.

Peace!

Pardon my dust

Well. It's been a while. Gimme a break, I've been sick. I feel like I've got a giant clothespin on my head crushing my will to live. Seems to be some sort of crazed head cold that has run amok, and just won't friggin' go away. Ya'll have been there, I'm sure. Don't shed any tears for me, I'll be giving it to you next.

Anyhow, my poor, darling husband has had to listen to my constant whining and moaning for the last week. So I thought we would do something that he enjoys. We went to the Aquarium. I mean, he is a reef aquarist (acquariest???, acquaritian??? Too lazy to look it up). Oh you didn't know he was a reef aquarist? ( I was right the first time on the spelling). Well I didn't either, until he refered to himself in this way yesterday. I just thought he was a man with an aquarium. I didn't know he had crossed that line into uber-dorkdom. I should have seen it coming.

There were lots of fish there, o'course. The coolest are the weedy seadragons (see right). Look here to see a better picture. They move by fluttering this spiny thingy (which is what the marine biologists call it also, I'm sure) on their backs. To'lly wicked.

I did get a lil sad for Rick. Right now we don't have any fish, just lots o'corral. I had my eye on this pink sea cucumber, but apparently those can kill everything in the tank, a la "The Blob".

I've been looking at this yellow-headed jawfish . I like his style! He kinda swims to the beat of his own drummer, all vertical-like. I would like another fish, something to watch, plus it keeps the cat occupied.

Gotta run. Going on to try on/ look at/ pick out my medieval bridesmaid dress. Should be interesting. Will I have to wear one of those conehead/ scarf hats? I wonder...

I'm also getting my haircut! I feel I may do something drastic. Stay tuned.

I am going Cray-Zee!

I have spent this entire weekend listening to 101.9 Chicago's Mix! Apparently, this "Mix" they refer to in their name means playing a mix of the same 8 songs. There's that Green Day song, that starts " I walk a lonely road....blah blah blah". Then there's the Ryan Cabrera song, boy does he suck. I didn't know he was one of those sensitive ballad guys, what with his crazy hair and all! Who knew! I now know what Hoobastank & Maroon 5 sound like, and I can also sing all the lyrics to various Avril Lavigne & Kelly Clarkson songs. Why? Why do you torture yourself, Laura?

Because it was a Duran Duran Weekend Weekend! You can win a spot to watch their show ON STAGE!!! With the Band! Holy Cripes. So....

Therefore I am listening for 2 DD songs in a row. Yesterday I had my mom, sister, brother, dad, husband all calling for me. So far my dad has been the winner. He has been caller 8, 15 and 21! (you need to be caller 25). I was 17 once. Once.

Apparently they are only picking winners from the really cool suburbs, like Frankfort, Lincolnshire, Itasca, Warrenville, and the like. Really chaps my hide. This music is making me really cranky. Obviously, I deserve to win these tickets more than anyone, since I have been the number 1 fan for over 20 years. No, seriously. I even tried to get the Reflex to be our class song in 7th grade. ( I believe I lost to a Rush song, go figure) You try giving a speech on the meaning of the lyrics. I mean, who is the Reflex, and why does he watch over lucky clover? Is he a leprechaun? I could have asked these questions, had I won. Now the world may never know...

Poo.

I like beets.

I made this recent discovery whilst eating dinner at my parents' house last night. I always thought that I hated beets. I loathe beets! But apparently I don't! How could I be wrong? I mean, if I don't know what I like, who does? The entire foundation of my being has been shaken!

That led me to wonder, what else do I think that I hate, but secretly really love? Cleaning the litter box?
Shopping at MicroCenter?
Going to the gynecologist?
Watching Devin play X-Box?

Who Am I , I Ask You? I know not!

But the peas, Laura, what of the peas? Do you still hate peas?
YES! I DO! They taste like someone chewed them up, then stuffed them back in the little pea skin and then served them to me. As if I wouldn't know! HA! Nice try.

I still hate peas.

Goodbye Thighs. Sigh.

I guess I'm ready to talk about it. I think I was secretly hoping it wasn't true, or that they'd change their minds. But I guess I have to acknowledge reality and just deal with it.

Kyle Farnsworth is no longer a Cub. He's a Tiger.

And from what I gather, he will be taking his massive, muscular thighs with him. Boo. The Tigers may have a pretty decent team this year. They have Pudge and Magglio (we should have had him!), and I do like myself a little Ramon Martinez.

This is what sucks about baseball. You get to be a fan of a player, and then they get traded. Then when your team plays his new team, you have to root for that player in secret. Which is stupid, because you really don't want the other team to win. I've been doing this for years with Robin Ventura. But not anymore, since he retired after last season.

On the lighter side...I read at Sports Illustrated that Sammy got ejected from the OUTFIELD for arguing balls and strikes with the umpire. Who gets ejected from the outfield? Only the biggest hothead in baseball. Why don't you go and sneeze yourself onto the bench again ya big sissy. I can see my evil side starting to rear up, so it must be time to sign off.

We're runnin' a little late for some prime rib. Peace out.

Old Gravy

ARGH! I really hate Old Navy. I swore I would never shop there again...years ago. Most of the items they have are dumb anyhow. But I was there buying Devin some underpants (to replace the hole-y rollers). One thing led to another, and I ended up buying this black shirt. One can never have too many black shirts, you know.

Well they got me again! Those sneaky bastards! My shirt shrunk approximately 4 inches. I know this because I measured my body ( 22 inches), then I measured the shirt (18 inches- see picture). Well, it doesn't take a rokkitt syentistt ...that shirt has shrunk. That's $ 8.95 I'll never see again.

On the lighter side... I had salmon for dinner. It was salty.

One more day til Devy-do comes home! Yay!

Oscar Night

I can't believe it's finally here!!! I'm so excited! Actually, nah. I don't really care all that much. I don't even think I've seen many of the nominated films, as usual. The best part is critiquing the gowns and making fun of actors' hairstyles.

We'll be heading over to Jim & Cari's to watch it anyhow. Just nice to hang out on Sundays, where we can all try to forget the weekend is ending. Boo! We'll be having snacks. I like snacks. Do you?

Welcome to the O.C.

So we went to see Modest Mouse last night at the Congress. We had forgotten that the band had been featured on the O.C. as playing at the "Bait Shop". Well, we were reminded very quickly.

The crowd was mostly 14-17 year old boys with Ramones-esque hairdos, and 30-something year olds that were pissed that it was an all ages show (that was us).

These very rude young scamps got into an argument with Kim, as they were cutting in the front of the coat check lline. They started taunting us, can you believe it? I had to reprimand them in my very sternest teacher voice. What is wrong with young-uns today? No respect.

We headed over to El Cid for a beer, and again were accosted by some turd from Vernon Hills. I know this because he insisted on showing us his drivers license to prove he was 21. I actually thought he was older than us. He accused us of being "women pissed off at the world." Just because we didn't find him as charming as he thinks he is.

All in all, it was a good time.